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There was a golfer from Verdun
Who was not to be outdone.
To avoid glitches
He carried spare britches
In case he got a hole in one.
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There once was a lady, Ilene,
Who lived on distilled kerosene,
But she started absorbin'
A new hydrocarbon
and since then she'd never benzene
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There once was an old man of Esser,
Whose knowledge grew lesser and lesser,
It at last grew so small
He knew nothing at all,
And now he's a college professor.
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The once was a woman named Pat
Who just ate butter and sat;
She withered away
Until one day
Nothing was left butter fat.
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By beauty I am not a star.
There are others more handsome by far.
My face I don't mind it.
Because I'm behind it.
It's the people in front that I jar.
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There was a young fellow of Leeds
Who swallowed six packets of seeds.
In a month, silly ass,
He was covered with grass,
And he couldn't sit down for the weeds.
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Once in the rain I saw a man,
Strolling with an umbrella in hand.
When I said it was insane
To walk in the rain,
He said "Well then, I'll just stand".
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There once was a man from Nantucket
Who kept all his cash in a bucket.
But his daughter, named Nan,
Ran away with a man
And as for the bucket, Nantucket.
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