27. When tempted to fight fire with fire, remember that the Fire Department usually uses water.
28. Get your facts first, and then you can distort them as you please.
29. I can see your point, but I still think you're full of BS.
30. I like you. You remind me of when I was young and stupid.
31. A diplomat is someone who can tell you to go to hell in such a way that you will look forward to the trip.
32. Nostalgia isn't what it used to be.
33. Some people hear voices. Some see invisible people. Others have no imagination whatsoever.
34. Hospitality is making your guests feel like they're at home, even if you wish they were.
35. Do not argue with an idiot. He will drag you down to his level and beat you with experience.
36. If I had a dollar for every girl that found me unattractive, they'd eventually find me attractive.
37. I find it ironic that the colors red, white, and blue stand for freedom, until they're flashing behind you.
38. Today a man knocked on my door and asked for a small donation towards the local swimming pool, so I gave him a glass of water.
39. Artificial intelligence is no match for natural stupidity.
40. I'm great at multi-tasking--I can waste time, be unproductive, and procrastinate all at once.